There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
