I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Boobs speak an international language.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
