i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
