the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
