how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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