In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
