I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
