Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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