new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
