I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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