i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
