Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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