So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
