so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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