New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
