Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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