Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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