Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
