would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
