Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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