chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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