THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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