I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
