Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
