I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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