you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
