after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
