he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
