Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
