is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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