If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Everclear isn't food dammit
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
