A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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