I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
