Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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