Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize