There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
what day is it and did you see me today?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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