You work out of a Hotel?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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