gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
