Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
