yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
