I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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