He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You're like the curious george of whores
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize