uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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