I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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