bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize