Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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