this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
