can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
