I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is wine microwaveable?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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