I want to stick my p in your. b.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
