think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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