question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
