When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
