Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
