Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
do herpes really smell.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
