hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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