I'm drive I can fine osifer
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
