Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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