SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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