He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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