Me. At least after what I've been through.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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