My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
