Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
